Acceptable Wine & Cheese Behavior

I flipped my lid when I saw the new appropriate fan behavior list for the Dean Dome, from Page 2:

Situation	Unacceptable	Borderline	Preferred
Carolina player introductions	Mere clapping	Screaming until formation of vocal fold lesions	Rose petals, gently strewn
Missed Carolina shot	Disappointed sighing	Tepid applause	"M-V-P" chant
Made Carolina shot	Wild applause	Dancing onto court, And 1 Mixtape-style	Spontaneous combustion
Encountering Carolina player in person	High-five over safety rail	Royal curtsy, genuflection	Offer of goat, first-born
Fan throwback jersey	Joseph Forte	Michael Jordan	Serge Zwikker
Handmade fan sign	References to tears, Delvon Roe	Something cute with network call letters	Shakespearean love sonnet
Carolina player substitution	Appreciative cheering	Immediate number retirement	Solemn moment of silence for players who have given so much, while we have given so little
Carolina player foul-out/	Booing referee	Wailing, gnashing of teeth	Repentance, for the Rapture is at hand
Carolina free throw	Whispering	Breathing	Swallowing tennis ball, duct-taping own mouth
Neckwear	Anything else	Anything else	Carolina blue tie